“It costs money to add those!” I can hear my mother’s voice muttering at a driver turning without signaling.
“Why should I use them? There’s no one around,” retorted the voices of random friends.
“What a metaphor for all that is going on!” said the Spirit Moxie Advisory Board members as they suggested new Conversation (what we call these posts) topics.
As someone who is more pedestrian than passenger or driver these days, and who therefore needs to predict the actions of vehicles that happen to be nearby and heck, who tries to predict the actions of people as well, turn signals are golden. Yes, they can save lives, although thinking someone is turning when they’re just changing lanes can be unsettling or dangerous, too. Remember that when you think there are no other vehicles, or no pedestrians around, you could be wrong. Yes, even in rural areas or on a seemingly deserted residential street. Just yesterday, a car making a familiar turn clearly hadn’t seen me at all. I know it was a familiar turn because it then whipped into a driveway.
The question here is, what turn signals do you use? Let’s begin with that car or truck you drive, assuming you drive. When I learned to drive, the rule was to use turn signals every time, whether someone was around or not. Doing this gives you the advantage of habit and a bit of insulation in case there really is a pedestrian on that dark corner or a traffic cop behind that pole. I’m curious if you have any stories.
As a frequent pedestrian, I often signal to cars as to whether I really will cross the street or if I am letting the car go first. Sometimes the car won’t go first because they’ve learned to not trust walkers or other drivers. (Is that car really letting me in?)
In the larger scheme of things, similar signals are needed in simple day to day life. Little things like keeping your word (OK, so that isn’t so little). Bring home the milk you promised to get or show up at least close to 5 p.m. as scheduled. Sometimes little things backfire and are misinterpreted as signals. The person listening decides your voice tone is off, and you are really criticizing and not just commenting. They were expecting a turn signal although the driver hadn’t engaged one since they were actually driving straight ahead.
Sometimes a major change in direction is anticipated by the driver, but the simple turn signal isn’t enough of a clue. So the divorce or job change surprises other participants and leads to accidents, or at least stalls (if we keep the car metaphor going). How do you interpret turn signals from colleagues, family, and friends?
Do you ignore them? Experience might lead us to not pay attention to family or friends, colleagues or politicians. They didn’t mean what they said. They never do whatever. It couldn’t possibly affect me. While there are no words of wisdom on this, I suggest taking people immediately around you at their word, however mistrustful part of you remains. Listen*. If nothing else, it confuses things for them. You can call them out if they lie and are prepared if they do act on whatever they said. Also, by being clear yourself, you encourage trust and confuse people who aren’t trustworthy. The bottom line here is what you do.
So use your turn signals. Be honest. Listen. Be grateful when you’re heard. Yes, it’s part of changing the world.
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Credits and notes from the top:
Turn signal controls on an Arcimoto FUV – Spirit Moxie
Handspiel – marfis75 on flickr
*Listen is move #6 in Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference
When I first had the, “I really need to publish a book, plus I am tired of no one really understanding Spirit Moxie” conversation with my self, I chose the working title, Mattering.
Today it is “mattering” as its own topic that is haunting me. Spirit Moxie, which has become part of my identity, now has a life of its own. Most of its fairly original ideas, which were once a tad controversial, are now common place. I’m single and alone a good deal of the time. I was pretty tired when the feeling that “I don’t matter” hit me a few days ago. Even while I was tired, I could journal a bit. I remembered that my children can’t really imagine a world without me, that I have great friends who love me, and that there are at least one dog and one cat on this world who miss me terribly when I’m not around—or at least their behavior when I reappear is indicative of that.
And so it goes. Who, me? Matter? Turn it around! In the upcoming election, it matters that there is a person I’d prefer have elected. A
My friends know I seldom watch the news or pursue a newspaper, real or online. This is, perhaps, one way of not paying attention, although it feels more like emotional preservation. The world makes sure I know about any essential events.
So where is the balance? How is one accountable and so not hit either physically or psychically and still able to avoid most fear and paranoia? How does one know what to pay attention to while remaining calm and grounded? And how do we do that?
If you’re having trouble finding the positive, take a minute right now and look around. What are you noticing? One of my most negative friends loves black. If he were here, he could appreciate my black sweatshirt and the “sexy” black mic sock on the microphone by my computer. Breathe. Ah! You can breathe. There is that. Plus your heart is pumping quite independently. You can find the positive in that. It can be that small. If all you know is news, appreciate that you get it and stop there. If you’re called to real action appreciate the opportunity and community. (Most of those bits are always in community.) If you love puzzles, make it a puzzle to find five things to notice and appreciate right now: Our potential lawn guy just lowered his estimate by $50. I got an invitation for dinner. I know where my phone is! This Conversation piece is almost finished. I’ve heard that my friends who were in the path of Hurricane Helene are struggling, but basically OK.
If you feel uncertain about politics, violence, economics, the environment, or any other current issues, global and personal, you may also feel a tad helpless about “things.” Perhaps as a reader or follower of Spirit Moxie, you’ve forgotten that there really are little things we can do to change the world. Or maybe you’ve never really thought that little things might work to affect big issues.
Then go back to those little things we talk about in Spirit Moxie. If you have a copy of 
Then there are the concrete actions that make a difference as we can we clearly see. An area without litter (4.) is healthier and safer as well as more attractive (back to emotions!).
During COVID, I wrote a Conversation piece around the importance of growing things called 
Many are on our basic “little things that can change the world” list.
Part of your job might be the dreaming that creates these — but it is certainly gratitude for them which helps give them power.
Almost everyone loves a good story, whether a formal tale or that anecdote about the guy in the supermarket. It’s one reason gossip is fuel for so many and, I’m guessing, is also the basis for serious insights revealed in therapy.
I got to this point by realizing I’m sometimes impatient when people see situations as hard (yes, I know I don’t know all of the details). And I realized why.
This, too, is a story. Somewhere there is a story that works for
Perhaps the most basic step or action to making a difference and changing the world and oneself is gratitude. Appropriately gratitude was one of the first “little things” we wrote about in Spirit Moxie’s Conversation posts. 
Surviving as a human is pretty much impossible without other humans. So we can see “thank you” as an acknowledgement of the web
Gratitude, on the other hand, is personal, although sometimes it is expressed publicly and certainly can be seen to touch thanks. Being grateful is not so much an acknowledgement of an action or experience as a perception of how that action or experience has affected you. Gratitude changes the way the world appears to us and makes us more productive and effective, a result scientifically studied by such writers as 
When I began writing this, I got a bit puckish and remembered the “Wild West” definition, with prospectors and land barons. In my imagination I saw dry creeks and hills. There, “claim” was a noun.
Intellectually how could your getting enough sleep* or
We read that we’re enough, are fabulous, are good the way we are. But our mind may say, “Who, you? Don’t be silly. You’re not big or strong or important enough to matter.” Thank your mind for sharing. You are all you have to offer. And it is enough. If you claim that and I claim that, we have enough people for that race. And others will join in.
This year I struggled with a post about the new year, which is why this post is early in the year, but not at the very beginning. I reread all the former end of/beginning of year Spirit Moxie Conversations. (I suggest the core 1916 post 
The second piece to help you remember: I kind of dare you to try. It is an exercise I love that apparently pushes people’s buttons. Ask someone — using these exact words — “Tell me how I’m fabulous.” You can ask me that question when you see me in person. Or, send me a