A couple of weeks ago, I asked some friends which “little thing” on the current list of little things we can do to change the world I should write about next. “Choose your extravagances” leaped out to them. It is number 10 on the original list of 100, so it was part of my initial determination of what small things could, indeed, change the world.
But what did I mean by extravagances when I first listed this in 2013? There aren’t any notes, but I’m pretty sure the why and how of this has expanded, if not changed.
In 2013, I think I viewed this as meaning, “don’t be wasteful.” That’s still valid. Do you really need “that” car, coat, or shiny object? Sometimes the answer is, “yes.” My partner always wanted a Jaguar, could afford one, and took great delight in driving it. Sometimes the answer is “really?” An example might be that expanded time share I almost never use that might both pay for itself and give me more options. But in this conversation, when talking about the things beyond necessities, often the answer is, “no.” NO! This is your own list. One friend actually functions better with his morning Starbucks americano. I can do just fine with coffee at home or at my local diner. Because I consciously choose to not own very much stuff, my examples are different from yours. Because I use public transportation well, a ride share service such as Uber or Lyft is an extravagance for me. But on my last visit to Cincinnati and during my “do I want to live in Thailand” experience, ride shares were usually the only option for getting places. I also have friends who have exclusively used ride shares, along with walking and maybe riding bikes, when they’ve chosen not to have a car.
Now I think there is another part of “choose your extravagances.” Deliberately select some extravagances. The key word here is “deliberately.” First, we live in a time where denying yourself is seen as virtuous. Think of that diet. Think of wanting to do what everyone else is doing but money and time are saying, “no.” Think about the idea that really wanting more of anything is wrong.
Now think of “extravagances” as one way of enjoying and participating in this world we think might benefit from some change. Perhaps it is to always have real whipped cream on your pie or whole milk in your latte. For me, I realized I enjoy going out to eat and travel more than new clothes or the latest phone. Do I ever buy clothes or replace electronics? Yes. But my monthly spending plan has an inordinate amount allotted to restaurants and the credit card I use gives me perks when traveling.
The diet example is maybe the easiest to understand. I usually ask for no cheese on sandwiches and omelettes as for me cheese only adds calories rather than flavor. But I enjoy good cheese with bread or crackers before dinner or even for dessert. Sometime in my late teens I decided cream and sugar in my coffee weren’t worth the calories, especially because I usually drank coffee with desserts. But now I have friends who will tell you that enjoying good coffee, usually black, is something they identify with me.
Note the phrase above of “enjoying and participating.” Enjoying the world is certainly central to having it be the world you know it could be. (“Changing the world” as the Spirit Moxie tagline reads.) When you are only angry with your partner or children, they never have a chance to blossom and be great around you. But when you enjoy being with them, enjoy their idiosyncrasies, and sometimes participate in what they love, something more beautiful than all of you becomes possible. Yes, I know that example is a bit simplistic. But think of our world the same way. What do you want to indulge in that is beautiful, extravagant, and that also, in some way, serves who you are? Getting up early to watch a sunrise? Ordering the real butter and the bread basket? Buying the shoes or spending the extra $40 for an upgraded airplane seat (yup – just did that)? And so, we participate. Not with something just because it’s there, but because it provides satisfaction and maybe a bit of joy.
Your list will be different from mine. I’m pretty sure you can’t imagine that sandwich without cheese and that you find delight in the cheapest ticket you can find when traveling. But watch and choose. My friend bought the most expensive champagne she could find when she sold her house. She drinks a low cost Costco white wine otherwise.
Choose YOUR extravagances. And share what they are! Hearing about them adds to our enjoyment. Yes having and naming your extravagances will add to and change the world.
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Images from the top:
The Jaguar — Spirit Moxie
Flat white in New Zealand — Spirit Moxie
Sunrise — Teresa O’Bryant
Sparkling wine at Evoke Winery tasting room (Vancouver, WA) —Spirit Moxie