No, I didn’t tell you. I just assumed that you knew.

I don’t know about you, but when things seem obvious to me, I don’t even think about them. It’s beyond thinking that they’re equally clear to everyone. A communication about whatever it is really isn’t even on my mind. This is why I’m always getting in trouble because I don’t mention things like, well, I’m not coming up with anything because I’m not even thinking about it. It just is.

But you need examples? Well, for one, things are neater and cleaner when the trash is taken to the garbage bin. Another is that humans are all related. Also, apparently contradictory things can be true.

These were just off the top of my head. But the first time I realized that what was obvious to me wasn’t always obvious to others occurred during a misguided stint teaching English and theatre. Oh, I had  (still have for that matter) the credentials and could facilitate a discussion. But I was also expected to impart information, to “teach,” and, while I know a good deal about these subjects, I have trouble recalling facts or sharing them in any detail. In this instance the students were reading plays, but not participating. After a few classes that filled me with frustration, I caught on. Not everyone “sees” (like having your own pop-up stage in your head) a play when they read one. So they have difficulty following the storyline. I do “see” plays in my head and assumed everyone read like this. 

I experienced this in reverse when a staff I worked with (technically I was the boss) refused to believe I wasn’t just avoiding work when I suggested they pack up after an event while I sorted out the details with the hotel. The fact that they, and probably you, could put the same items into less space in a shorter amount of time than I could never occurred to them. Not my skill set. Someone can fold the SAME stack of clothes as I do and it will be two to five inches shorter than the stack I fold. Really. No matter how careful I am.

On a day-to-day basis obvious things include thinking it’s clear where you’re meeting someone. Understanding likes and dislikes. Knowing it’s perfectly fine and safe to be downtown in a city. Seeing what’s polite, like having your change ready when you’re in line waiting to pay for something.

What are your concrete examples?

Recently, while increasingly living moment-to-moment “in the present,” which I began sharing in “Just Be,” I’ve crashed into other’s expectations. As mentioned in previous posts, I’m writing/producing a short book explaining Spirit Moxie, which involves giving people a few concrete tools to engage in the important work of making a difference in the world. The purpose of the book is to give readers insights to see how, with a slight shift in intention, they can make a difference by doing what they’re already doing.

Dutifully I’ve had several people read the preliminary manuscript and have received good comments and a few insights. But suddenly the purpose of the book, which was obvious to me, was perceived as not specific enough. Not personal enough. Too short (but I write “short,” don’t I?). The result has been this post, a lot of staring at games on my phone, and the occasional escape into a mystery story.

I thought the book was personal. And that the idea of making a difference was obvious. Somehow, while I accepted the needed challenge to clarify and rewrite. the actual process has not reflected the ease I also think should be obvious.

The hiatus of staring out windows and at keyboards has also increased my minute-by-minute appreciation of how interesting and beautiful the world is. It’s increased my gratitude to the couple of people who have read the book and thought it had the right degree of personal-ness and length. And I’ve gotten back to “obvious.” I now have a determination to look again at the book’s beginning, to see where I’m making assumptions. To indeed make it clearer and, ideally, more interesting.

Meanwhile what’s obvious to you? Keep a list. I’ll do the same. And we’ll see where the obvious keeps us from connecting.

Oh, and thanks for engaging anyway. And not being too mad I didn’t tell you what I meant more clearly. Together we can make a difference. Obviously.

_______________

By the way, the book’s working title right now is Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference.  How does this work for you?

_________________________

Photos from the top:

Iridescent Stairs (why?) – Heartyjacques
Pages from Our Town by Thornton Wilder — Spirit Moxie
Sidewalk Art (a good thing?) — Spirit Moxie
View from Bridge (beautiful?) — Spirit Moxie
Possible Title Page!