Perhaps the most basic step or action to making a difference and changing the world and oneself is gratitude. Appropriately gratitude was one of the first “little things” we wrote about in Spirit Moxie’s Conversation posts. “Give Thanks” was published more than ten years ago in December 2013, just a few months after Spirit Moxie was launched. In the book, Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference, which explains the idea of Spirit Moxie more clearly, “Be Grateful” is move #2.
So, we’ve written about this. But sometimes we need reminders, and, for fun, to play with distinctions. Today I’d like to claim that one distinction is collective and one is personal. What might feel counterintuitive however, is that “thank you” is the collective one.
While working on this Conversation, I decided to post a TikTok (one of my new experiments in reaching more people) on “saying thank you,” as being one of the little things that can change the world. While planning the post, I realized something that now seems obvious. Saying, “thank you,” besides being an automatic response engrained into you by your parents, also acknowledges that someone has done something for you. (Duh). And, when you examine that statement, pure connection and possibility emerges. (Wow!)
Surviving as a human is pretty much impossible without other humans. So we can see “thank you” as an acknowledgement of the web—or maybe a strand that is part of the web—that connects us one to another. Saying, “thank you” to that other human being who bagged your groceries, opened a door, or handed you a cup of coffee can expand your appreciation for humans in general. What about the rude receptionist? The tired take out clerk who would have gotten the order wrong if you hadn’t checked? Remember, they are also human.
One of the things I do that sometimes amazes my friends is get around using only public transportation. It has become essential for me to say “thank you” to the drivers when I leave a bus. Sometimes that “thank you” evokes the response of a “have a great day.” Sometimes however, I’m not sure the driver hears me. Sometimes the driver initiates the “have a great day” exchange. I always listen to see if others also say, “thank you.” Many do. This person just drove more than 12 tons of machinery safely so you can get where you’re going. We are connected to them via webs and strands.
So “thank you” supports and acknowledges the collective, the interactive web of being human that makes it possible for you to be you. It also reminds us of our place in that collective.
Gratitude, on the other hand, is personal, although sometimes it is expressed publicly and certainly can be seen to touch thanks. Being grateful is not so much an acknowledgement of an action or experience as a perception of how that action or experience has affected you. Gratitude changes the way the world appears to us and makes us more productive and effective, a result scientifically studied by such writers as Shawn Achor. Gratitude certainly helps us be happier. One can start integrating this into our lives by simply noticing or listing three to five things every day that you are grateful for from yesterday or that are underway right now.
Through my friend and mentor Scott Mills, I learned the power of expanding on gratitude. Name the action, event, or situation for which you are grateful and then for five minutes or more describe it in more detail. Include how and why it makes you grateful as well whatever you remember about it. I suggest ending with a few of those “thank you” threads.
I know thanks and gratitude change the world and are tremendously important. But I also see these as easy and integral ways to claim the power of the collective and the power of ourselves. It is the collective that makes changing the world truly possible.
So welcome to being human. Whom did you thank today? How and for what are you grateful?
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Dalí sitting with books (Moxie Moves – link to printer! – and Talking to Trees) – Spirit Moxie
The thanks video is also on Instagram
Web (2011) – alijava
Gratitude collage: wine and flowers; tree; pedicure – Spirit Moxie
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